Roller Coaster Ride from Hell; the emotional journey when supporting a loved one with cancer. 

I stopped a cycle being repeated last night.  



I was walking around the house picking up toys, making sure the rooms were neat and tidy.  I was sorting out the washing between darks and whites, getting ready for Laundry day today.  I cleaned out the fridge, looked at all expiration dates and tossed out what didn’t look right, didn’t smell right and didn’t feel right.  It wasn’t till I took the bins out that I realised I was living a day ahead.  Bin night is tonight, not last night! 

I thought if I had a shower (the first one since three days ago) it would help me feel clearer.  Instead, it drew me to my emotions.  I allowed myself to feel it.  I became scared.  As I was washing my hair, I could hear my daughter singing along to an Elvis movie.  I started to worry about her.  Then I realised again; I was thinking about the future.  

It wasn’t till bedtime that something clicked.  It all came at once.  I dropped to my knees.  My head fell into my palms.  I waited there collecting my thoughts, my heart started beating harder and as I lifted my head,  I let out a roar.  With my mouth wide open, it was long, it was loud and it was deep.  The sound woke up my daughter and she gently sat in front of me, wrapped her tiny hands around me and let me cry it all out. 

A hard moment at the hospital.

Last nights behaviour and feelings had nothing to do with living in tomorrow. It was all about unfinished business from the past. I recognised that cry. It was very familiar. I recognised those soft gentle hands of my daughter holding me. I’ve been here before. This is my marriage all over.  

“You can’t expect a different outcome if you keep doing the same thing.”




My daughter reminded me of a friend to call but it was too late in the evening.  I wondered if there was a help line for what I’m going through.   And that’s when it hit me.  This is a repeated cycle.   This is what I do – I call for help.  Yet, I already know how to help myself.  

Lisa Jane is a Key Speaker at special events.



I’m a Holistic Life Mentor. I’m Yummy Mummy Podcast. I’m The Social Inspirer. I am Lisa Jane! I speak my truth and share my stories. I create a space for others to open up (when they are ready) to talk about their fears and their voids.


I guide so many people to express themselves and find clarity.   I guide single parents to embrace their new lifestyle.  I guide partnered people to connect with themselves when they want to leave.   I guide people to put themselves first, to live life on purpose and serve their values.  I’m a sounding board, I’m an educator and I’m an empath. 

Lisa Jane expresses her stories with real heartfelt emotions.
My message in life is about unconditional love; to love all that is served to you.   And right now I do not love what has been served to me.  


“My yin to my yang has been diagnosed with cancer.”


How do you love that news?  Well, patience is an avenue I’m very familiar with.  It’s the one behaviour I am becoming more successful at in all areas of life.  Another avenue is not being emotionally connected.  To feel is one thing, but to be connected to a persons feelings is another.  

I’m an awesome researcher and my strength is needed for the man I love the most.  He needs me.  And I will do whatever it takes to get all the options served out to him on a platter.  Though, it’s up to him to decide.   Once he makes his choice, he needs his choice to be respected.  That’s the tough part for me because I know him well and he is easily influenced.   It breaks my heart when I see people being manipulated, lied to and confused.   Some of these people are only doing it to feed their own purpose; so to make themselves feel at ease instead of allowing the individual to just be present. 

I’m also his co-parent, his best friend and the mother of his child.  My challenges may be different, though, they are just as great as his.  My strength in this is my ability to express my vulnerability publicly.  

As I write this, I’m breaking the cycle. Instead of reaching out to a help line, I’m expressing myself publicly.  It allows you an opportunity to open up about your fears.  To help you look within yourself and see the strengths that you need to draw out to live a beautiful loving life.  

A different way of doing things will offer a different outcome.   Change is in order; challenges will push you to guide you to grow out of the fear and into your heart.  The heart is where life wants us to be.  And life knows what’s best for us.  We just need to get out of our heads first!  

Lisa Jane 

I’m Lisa Jane – an aspiring humanitarian and a full-time human “being”.  I’m a consciously aware parent making sense of the partner & lover aspects of my life.  Currently, I’m mastering co-parenting with my husband, Mr F.  We separated 3.5 years ago, though there isn’t a divorce.  We have three fur babies, Little Miss, to which is a human, Koko Black, our placid miniture Poodle and Charli, our wild Cornish Rex.  With my time away from my husband, I re-discovered my love for life and bridged the gap between my ego self & my authentic self.  And so with this knowledge, I want to share with the world all my experiences of living a delicious life.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. 💚
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Toxic People! How to cleanse yourself of toxicity; 4 simple steps! 

So, you want to live a positive, successful and wellbeing life! Yet, there are certain people dragging you down or stopping you in the way of true happiness. It could be your boss in your dead end job you go to everyday, who rewards you with a minimum wage. Maybe that last relationship put you in a downer of a mood and now your hopes of sharing your life with a compatible partner seems non existent. Or you have that kind of friend who will support you, yet, are pessimistic about themselves; leaving you feeling drained and uninspired.
This general group of people, we can safely call “toxic”!

Recently, I drove into a situation, blinded by hopeful happiness.  In holiday mode, I was chilled, relaxed and ready to soak up the summer fun.  My friend, on the other hand was nervous!  Even though I was warned of their fears, I was not prepared for what I was going to witness.  As the days progressed, so did their nerves and soon enough, they erupted.  Instead of talking it through, they preferred to ask me to leave.  It was the first time something like this has happened and I didn’t want us to lose out on what we had planned.  I tried to keep myself from going home and work on dissolving the built up stress.  Though, with my kind-hearted efforts to help, my friend turned away and named called me “Toxic” and that my daughter had “major issues”!

Toxicity comes in many forms. It can be defined in many ways. The best way to know if you have encountered a toxic person is to take a step back and look at their behaviour. Are they being true to themselves and others? Are they taking responsibility for their own actions? Are they being rude and causing grief to you? If people are lying, hiding from the truth, playing the blame game and show no sign of empathy; you may need to let them go. However, if you are able to communicate with them and get past a negative situation, that’s called growth. If nothing seems to help save the relationship from falling deeper into chaos, it’s clearly toxic!

I couldn’t have agreed more with my friend.  I am Toxic and my daughter has major issues.  Who isn’t?  Who doesn’t?  There is no such thing as living a positive life without negativity.  I have just as much stress going on in my world as the next person.  I don’t need to explain myself or give reasons to why.  A true friend would be able to see this.  I’m an open book and my toxicity lies within my surroundings and my daughter’s major issues rest with her family unit separating and coming back together.  Its been tough for us, though, we are not victims nor survivors, we are worriers.  To name call, put someone in a box, catergorise, stereotype and label them, is further from being pure themselves.  A friend can call you out on your actions to help you grow, but this was not the case in my situation.  The wake-up call had come through loud and clear;  I acknowledged my friend’s wishes and drove home.

People will either lift you up or pull you down. It’s a matter of choosing the right kind to help you grow, evolve, move forward; bring you closer to living your dreams. If you are ready to detox, then it’s time to look at your surroundings and start the elimination process.

Let’s look at it from another angle. When we eat junk food we know it’s going to give us that warm fuzzy feeling of satisfaction for a moment and once that high sugary feeling is over we fall back into a rut. So, we start to eat healthy, choose better quality foods to lift our spirit. Flushing out the bad with water will also give our body a fresh new start. We feel more energetic for longer and knowing we are doing good gives us that certainty we’re on the healthy track. What if we did the same with people?

Purging out toxic people will help your mind become clear and live a more positive life. But unlike food, you can’t just grab what you want and leave the rest on the shelf. If only it was that easy!

We all know that saying; “when one door closes, another one opens!” Opening new doors with optimistic people is likely. However, closing doors to what is stopping you in your path is like running away from your problems. Sometimes, that new person ends up being just like the last; toxic!

“What we run away from, we run into!”

The only way to flush those toxic elements out of your life is to recognise the behaviour. It’s not the person who is making you suffer; it’s the behaviour they are portraying! You are attracting the behaviour, not the person. You can push away those who don’t serve you, but in the end, that toxic behaviour will keep reappearing.

What if I told you that the reason you are attracting these negative elements in your life is because you are toxic too? Hard to digest? The truth always is!

“Like attracts like!”

So, the steps to take, in the process of detoxing behaviours of others is to recognise it within yourself.

Here is a method I created that will help you cleanse yourself of toxic behaviours;

“4 Simple Steps to Cleanse Toxic Behaviours”

Step 1. Write a list of all the people that are draining you.

Step 2. Write about each situation, painting a picture of what happened to make you “feel” this way.

Step 3. Write the behaviour that best suits the person. How were they acting?

Easy Peasy! The next step will be the challenging part but most effective!

Step 4. Recognise each behaviour within yourself. Look at your past and present moments. Write about each situation, painting a picture of what happened to make you “act” that way.

It’s a tough step. People that find this difficult don’t want to take responsibility of their own behaviours and actions, hence why they keep attracting toxic and annoying people into their lives. Once you see it within yourself, you’ll come to understand they are just showing a mirror image of you. You don’t need to tell them. Detoxing is for you alone. They may even start behaving differently and you may be able to keep them in your life. Closing doors is not always the answer. Work on yourself, focus on yourself, be true to yourself!

With each situation that followed after my summer holiday, I became more aware of my behaviour and actions.  I noticed I was putting myself in these predicaments; innocently looking to connect and form friendships.  The more I cleansed myself of my toxicity, the more I found people in my surroundings to be rich in spirit.

Detoxing is not pretty. It’s not meant to be. It’s painful, emotional and needs discipline to achieve! Think of it as a kitchen renovation; you pull everything out, use your strength to rip down all the cupboards, leaving a huge mess! But once you clean it all up, you have a new space to install an upgraded style. It takes time! In the end, after all the hard work, you sit at the bench and enjoy the rewards.

So, tell me, have you had to cleanse yourself of toxic people?  How did you do it?  What happened and did you succeed?  I’d love to hear your stories. Either way, here’s to a new beginning at creating a positive, successful and wellbeing life.

LJ
😁

#toxicpeople #detoxify #annoyingbehaviours #anewwayofthinking #evolving #movingforward #closingdoors #openingdoors #theyaredrainingme #relationships #communication #badfriendships #unhealthyfriendships #detoxrelationships

Mother | Blogger | Podcaster | Co-Parent | Lover

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Lisa Jane is based in the northern area of Melbourne, Australia.  She is an aspiring writer, with a magnetic smile and charismatic in nature.  She educates and entertains with her stories bringing balance to any life experience.  Lisa Jane is a separated mother; who in the present moment is focussing on co-parenting with her daughter’s Father; building a solid foundation, whilst running her Holistic Beauty & Skin Therapy salon; Aquatique.  Lisa Jane will launch her podcast Yummy Mummy early 2017.  Where she will make sense of what it means to be a parent, partner and lover in modern society whilst staying true to yourself. 

What in the world: When someone returns a gift you gave!

The time of gift giving has passed. All that running around to find the perfect present for our loved ones is over. We can ease our minds of thinking about a unique offering.

How did our gift givers do? Did you open up the gifts you received with delight?

This has to be the hardest part about gift occasions. That dreaded feeling of getting something that isn’t your style as you think to yourself – ‘what in the world is this?’ or when you see the disappointed look on your loved ones face after they open what you thought would be an ideal gift for them. The gift could be something that they know they won’t use or that they simply don’t like. Or maybe it is fueled by the thought of the gift being too expensive for them to receive and so they feel as though they can’t accept it, along with an obligation to give back something they can’t truly afford. We all try to hide our true thoughts and feelings with a thank you, a smile, a kiss and a hug, but you can’t hide guilt. That awful feeling which eats you up inside, making you feel bad.

Putting the unloved present to the side thinking if ‘it’s out of sight, it’s out of mind’, is one way of dealing with it. But what if you tell them the truth? In an ideal world, honesty is the best policy, however what if you hurt their feelings?

It’s certainly much easier to just exchange the gift at the store or stash it and forget about it. No one gets hurt and we carry on celebrating the holiday season.

But has anyone experienced a gift being returned? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking about your receiver returning it to the shops for a voucher. I mean – you received the gift back! Your loved one declined your creative, heartfelt hamper filled with love!

When I first wrote this blog post, I started out writing from the angle of a third person. Eventually as I got clear with my intention and upon reflection, I edited the second part and have opened up to share my truth.

Me. I raise my hand. I’m the one who has experienced a gift being returned. No ‘thank you’, no explanation. I was just told if I would like to know why, I would have to contact them.

First, I wasn’t so shocked. I had an inkling that the response wasn’t going to be all unicorns and rainbows. I hadn’t seen this person for close to three years. Yet, my daughter wanted to do something for her newly born cousin as a “welcome to the world” offering. Like when the three wise men offered gifts for baby Jesus. Plus, how could I deny my daughter from getting a gift for her own family, especially when I am teaching her to love unconditionally?

As the gift was returned to me, on Christmas morning too I might add, my happy Christmas morning smile dropped and I felt my bottom lip quiver. My eyes welled up and I tried my hardest to hold back the pain. Instead of bursting out into tears, I let out a roar. Confusion arose and then I questioned out loud; What did I do so wrong to be treated this way?

I had no time to sit with the situation and think things through. I had to get myself on the road and meet my family for our lunch celebration. With my hands trembling, I missed the keyhole to the ignition. I took a deep breath in and hoped with the release, all pain will go with it. The car then started and I drove off, but as I turned the first round-a-bout, I had to pull over. The emotions were overwhelming and those tears I held back took over. They didn’t make it down my cheeks; with the typical hot Australian summer day, my tears evaporated.

A gentle hand touched my shoulder and I soon woke up from my story. My daughter looked me in the eyes and a magical epiphany made me realise – this is not about me!

There are lots of reasons why someone would decline a gift. Though, the truth sits within them and I am yet to know. There was no point doing my head in thinking where I went wrong. I did something from a place of love, no matter what the circumstances were.

“How people treat others is a direct reflection of how they love themselves.” ~ Paulo Coelho

Being rude and unkind, more often than not, is a reaction to anger within. They are really just being mean to themselves; struggling with their own problems and need a way to cope. I can’t control the behaviour and actions of others, only the behaviour and actions of myself.

So, now I have this unwanted gift in my hands. I think the best way to deal with this situation is to know I did my best, accept it without confrontation and move on. The technicalities of now having an unwanted gift in my possession are simple, I could give it to someone else in need.

I would like to think the best gift to give is unconditional love. No judgement. Everyone has their reasons of why they act and behave a certain way. However just being present, giving our authentic self, letting go of past anguish and moving forward into happiness is what really matters and what it is truly about. Lending an ear or shoulder when people are in need and giving our full attention when hanging out together – this is so much more important.

While I ponder on what my next moves will be, I’d like to leave you with this – let’s celebrate this holiday season with a unique way of giving; giving wholeheartedly to others and in return rewarding ourselves with the gift of wholeness. For when we are whole, we are able to give and receive with gratitude.

 

LJ 🎁 

 

#whatintheworld #gifts #receive #give #return #whatdoidonow #heartfelt #unconditionallove #guiltyfeelings #owningmyshit #itsnotaboutme #reflection #everyactionhasareaction #yummymummy #yummymummypodcast #yummymummyblog

Lisa Jane is based in the northern area of Melbourne, Australia. She is an aspiring writer, with a magnetic smile and charismatic in nature. She educates and entertains with her stories bringing balance to any life experience. Lisa Jane is a separated mother; who in the present moment is choosing to stay single, co-parenting with her daughter’s Father whilst running her Holistic Beauty & Skin Therapy salon; Aquatique. Lisa Jane will launch her podcast Yummy Mummy early 2017. Here she will make sense of what it means to be a parent, partner and lover in modern society; whilst staying true to yourself.

The Dinner Party: When actions don’t necessarily speak louder than words

Once, I had a place at your table. I sat adjacent to you. Your wife was opposite me. My loving husband sat beside me. I felt important. I felt special. Most of all, I felt acknowledged and accepted.

One day it all changed and my heart sunk into a deep black hole. My life went into slow motion. Every sound was louder and bolder than before. I walked into the room but your attention was on something shinny and new.

My replacement had arrived.

I felt a strong wind pushing me to the back of the room. I didn’t fight it. I knew what was happening. It just wasn’t fair. I didn’t like it.

 

http://www.milesaldridge.com/
courtesty: Miles Aldridge ~ Dinner Party #5

With each gathering, I watched from the back of the room. This was my newly appointed seat. The connection to you was now gone. All I had left were memories of sharing the end of the salad, dipping the bread into the dressing and sipping on red wine.

I watched and cried inside. You had no idea what was going on for me. I thought you would’ve guessed something wasn’t right. That something was missing. That the energy in the room had changed along with the mood of my soul.

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/
We didn’t hug that day when I greeted you for dinner. Oh, how I missed those hugs. They were warm and inviting. They brought a freshness to my day. No matter what, you made me feel loved when your arms wrapped around me. You filled the void of my childhood and gave me what my father struggled to provide.

A real genuine father who hugged his daughter!

But after the next dinner; I became confused and wondered why you hadn’t come to me for our ritual greeting. I thought about it more and more. Why hadn’t you said something to me; like you always did? How come you no longer sensed the changes in me?

Not only did I feel replaced; I felt rejected. All I wanted to do was die. I didn’t want to exist because I knew you would only push me away again when another upgraded model came along?

https://www.ruok.org.au/
I was carrying your grandchild and still I wasn’t important enough to keep my place by your side. As my belly grew bigger, my heart sunk further. It was meant to be a time of celebration, but I just felt unwanted. I felt she was more important to you. And you never knew how much this effected my marriage with my husband.

I opened up to him. I told your son of my feelings of jealousy, sadness and rejection. But he didn’t know what to do. He built up all my worries and concerns into a bottle and when it exploded; I caught the full force of the blow. Further and further my heart sunk. More and more you pushed me away.

Eventually I gave up my ability to love unconditionally and I withdrew. You had filled my love tank with those hugs but when they stopped; my tank became empty.

How could I give love, when I had none to share?

I soon fell into a depression. All I remember was living under a constant gloomy, black cloud. Life at that point was a blur. I became over protective and created a shield to stop others from getting too close. I became bitter.

I started to live a fake life. I smiled when others smiled. I laughed when others laughed. I had no idea what was really going on. My spoken words no longer made sense. When the bubbles boiled and the pressure was too much, I snapped. I became someone I am not and I hated myself for it.

https://www.lifeline.org.au/
But then my little magical creature was born. She accepted me no matter what. She brought light and love into my sunken heart. She became my purpose. But all I wanted to do was take her away. I didn’t want to share her with you or anyone.

I don’t blame myself. After sitting at the back of the room, in neglected darkness for so long; why should anyone have the privilege of holding the life that kept me from taking mine.

I don’t blame you either. It was no ones fault. We didn’t know at the time how important that hug was. We also didn’t know how to share our connection with another. But since then, I have changed and the need to express myself is important. Clear communication is key to having healthy relationships.

So, with saying all this, I open my arms and invite you to embrace me. I support you in letting go of what’s been done and I ask you to give me the opportunity to show you my true loving and caring self. For the person I am today is shiny and new; an upgraded model. But this time, there will be no pushing away, no bottling up, no darkness. Lessons have been learnt and growth has been developed. With an ending of a cycle, I foresee a new healthy beginning.

 

LJ 🤗

 

#yummymummy #lonelytimes #imissthosehugs #familychristmas #fatherinlaw #letitgo #openingup #forgiveme #endcycle #beginanew #makepeace #unconditionallove #lovelanguage #lovetank #beyondblue #ruok? #lifeline #depression #anxiety #suicide #itsrealpeople #dontturnyourback #support #embrace

Lisa Jane is based in the northern area of Melbourne, Australia.  She is an aspiring writer, with a magnetic smile and charismatic in nature.  She educates and entertains with her stories bringing balance to any life experience.  Lisa Jane is a separated mother; who in the present moment is choosing to stay single, co-parenting with her daughter’s Father whilst running her Holistic Beauty & Skin Therapy salon; Aquatique.  Lisa Jane will launch her podcast Yummy Mummy early 2017.  Where she will make sense of what it means to be a parent, partner and lover in modern society whilst staying true to yourself.

Part 1: The Hidden Secrets of Lisa Jane’s Heritage 

When we meet someone new for the first time there are some typical general questions that are asked when getting to know a person. One that stands out for me is; “Where do you come from?” Knowing someone’s heritage helps you to get an idea of their culture, traditions they grew up with and the morals they value.

It’s an easy enough question to answer. Generally, we either say we were born here in Australia or overseas. The logical next question is usually related to our parents’ heritage.

This is when the conversation gets more interesting because it naturally flows into topics like travel and if we have been to the countries our families are from. Though, for me, all discussions about my heritage becomes surprisingly even more interesting.

Every time I’m asked where I come from; I stop to think about how I will answer that question.

It all depends on who I’m speaking to, the amount of time we have and if it’s the right moment to pour out the answer. In a general conversation, I keep it short and say I’m born in Australia and my parents are from overseas. My mother was born in Greece and my father was born in England. They both came to Australia quite young and met each other in their teens. End of story.

The full length version is something I have kept close to my heart all of my life. Until today.

My mother, Angela, may have been born in Greece, but I’m quite sure there are plenty of people who would beg to differ and say she was born in Macedonia. The place she comes from is Florina. A city surrounded by mountains and situated in a wooded valley south of the international border of Yugoslavia.

My mother’s family in her home village, 1967
My mother aged 8, brother and parents travelled by boat for a month to reach Port Melbourne, Australia in 1968. They chose to reside in North Fitzroy before landing a nice big backyard in Thomastown.

My father John, may have been born in England; yet his parents migrated from Cyprus separately and met each other in London. At 3 my father boarded a boat with his parents and sister eager to start a new life in Australia. Their destination became Shepparton in 1960.

My father’s family arriving in Melbourne, 1960
Interesting back story you might be thinking! But have you yet to wonder what part of Cyprus my fathers’ family are from?

Don’t let his name fool you. Many people have always thought John was short for Ioánnis (pronounced Yah-ni) and that his parents spoke Cypriot Greek and were Orthodox. But this is not the case.

John’s parents, my grandparents are from Louroujina, Cyprus. It’s was one of the largest Cypriot Turkish villages in Cyprus before the Turkish invasion in 1974. My grandparents had already migrated before Cyprus was divided and had always felt that they had come from a country that was uniting.

So, there! My father’s family come from Cyprus but the Turkish side. They speak Cypriot Turkish and are Muslim. Shocked? Yep, I have Muslim heritage. However, in his teens my father chose to leave his family to embrace Australia as his motherland. And so he became John the Atheist who joined the Australian Army!

Photo courtesy of John Hussey, 1978

So you can see my struggle when I’m faced with the question, “Where do you come from?” Sometimes I would just love to say I come from Earth. That I’m an Earthling just like you. That we come from the same place. But that would make me sound like a complete nut job.

Why is it so important to know ones’ heritage? Does it really make us who we are today?

Of course, it does. We cannot understand the importance of our traditions, history and family relationships unless we look at where they originated and what they strived to do in order to get to where they are today. It defines US; the next generation.

This time of year is the perfect season during family celebrations to open a discussion about YOUR families heritage. Give yourselves the chance to learn about your ancestors. Ask your parents and grandparents about where they originated and how they come to be where they are today.

You might be surprised by the result. At the very least you’ll have family stories and values to hand down to your own children one day.

As for me, I will continue to thicken my story with my next blog, Part 2: The Hidden Secrets of Lisa Jane’s Heritage. I will delve further into why my father changed his first name and why our surname, Hussey, does not sound like it comes from a Cypriot Turkish background.  I will keep you in the loop with a notification. Be sure to sign up here; Contact – Yummy Mummy, Click Here. Enter your name, email address and if you’re up to it, leave me a comment.

LJ 🌏
#familysecret #familyheritage #wheredoyoucomefrom #familybackground #familycelebrations #macedoniatoaustralia #greecetoaustralia #cyprustoengland #englandtoaustralia #village #country #city #yummymummy #yummymummypodcast


Lisa Jane is based in the northern area of Melbourne, Australia. She is an aspiring writer, with a magnetic smile and charismatic in nature. She educates and entertains with her stories bringing balance to any life experience. Lisa Jane is a separated mother; who in the present moment is choosing to stay single, co-parenting with her daughter’s Father whilst running her Holistic Beauty & Skin Therapy salon; Aquatique. Lisa Jane will launch her podcast Yummy Mummy early 2017. Here she will make sense of what it means to be a parent, partner and lover in modern society; whilst staying true to yourself.

Writer’s Block: How to move forward when you feel stuck!

Imagine lying in bed, in the middle of the night. You’ve woken up fully alert and switch on your bedside lamp. Your mind is ready to start the day, yet your body is heavy knowing it’s still dusk. You just lay there, looking up at the roof. Your eyes wandering from one corner of the ceiling to the other.

Tilting your head to look over at the dresser, you see a family portrait, candle holders, an ornament you bought from an overseas trip; but it doesn’t give you any emotion or thought. You’re just blank! As blank as a canvas! So, you just stare and stare and stare.

That’s my interpretation of “Writer’s Block”. It’s the most dreadful experience. It can happen in the middle of a story or at the end; as you’re wrapping it all up. In my case, it usually happens at the beginning. I had a marvellous response to my blog last week about learning lessons from my recent relationship. Lesson Learnt Blog. It wrote about the internalising and questioning yourself type stuff we all go through. Doubt kicks in and I ask myself “But what will I write about now?”

“What next?” I have so many stories to tell that I don’t know where to begin. I thought about looking back at my past and working my way forward. Like Alice in Wonderland I think about my past actions. I dissect and analyse; innocently trying to make sense of utter nonsense. 

But I’m not the same person I was yesterday and what I will do today, will impact what lies ahead. Besides, I don’t want to go back. Instead, I choose to write about the here and now. 

Right now, in the present moment; is where I need to be. I’m sitting up against my bedhead with a blanket pulled up high; keeping me toasty during this miserable, yet satisfyingly rainy day. This is my “writers desk”! The place where my imagination runs wild and free. Oddly, it’s also the place I can feel empty and numb. 

It’s the future that scares me; the fear of not knowing. I suppose it’s because right now, at this present moment; I am confused and lost. My only wish is to grow small, small enough so I can somehow see the bigger picture. To see “where” it is that I need to put my focus. 

With all the work I have done through personal development, I know that I need to put myself first. Along with that comes my daughter. We are a package. She’s a seedling I am nurturing, watering and shining light on; so she can grow strong and evolve into a wise respectable woman. 

My business; Aquatique, Holistic Beauty & Skin Therapy, (aquatiquembs.wordpress.com) is also important to me. It’s a place where I feel most comfortable and my clients become my friends. Ten years on, I still love my job but it’s more practical than bringing out my idealistic, dreamy and sensitive self. 

My passion is communication and I have so much to say. In fact, it’s why I have created this new path for myself. My aim is to inspire others to express themselves authentically by aligning the heart with the head and speaking truth. 

So, today I write about the struggle of writer’s block. Of putting down in print what I’m living in this present moment. Letting others know that it’s OK to have that blank, emptiness and to allow yourself to feel it, sit with it, embrace it. The confusion about the past and future and understanding that knowing yourself in the present is all you really need. To focus on your internal self, rather than the external. For the truth lies within. 

“Go inside you, feel the silence, use the eternal now that rules the past and the future.” ~ Aniekee Tochukwu Ezekiel

How does one do this? Well, firstly, if you have struggled to live in the present moment, you need to admit to yourself you have been living in the past. Samantha from Sex & The City put it quite perfectly to those still living in the past, “Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda!” 

Talking about your past is like reliving your story instead of creating a new one and moving forward. It took me till my 36th year to actually embrace the present and to find a way to do it simply. I met with a fellow life mentor, Toni-Maree Hannan. She taught me a great way to ground myself. I practise it daily and it is effective. I would love to share this technique with you. 

  • Sit upright and ground both feet on the floor. Close your eyes and breath in through your nose, fill your tummy like it’s a balloon and release. Concentrate on your breath, breathing in and releasing. Do this for 5 minutes. Then, as you are starting to feel connected with yourself, think about the 3 most important things you need to do for the day. No more. No less. Complete these tasks within the day. Keep your mind active thinking of the tasks at hand. 

If you do this daily, you will begin to start living in the moment. The anxiety of the future will ease. The guilt of the past will fade. I encourage you to move past your writer’s block and begin anew. In the present. 

LJ 💕

Lisa Jane is based in the northern area of Melbourne, Australia.  She is an aspiring writer, with a magnetic smile and charismatic in nature.  She educates and entertains with her stories bringing balance to any life experience.  Lisa Jane is a separated mother; who in the present moment is choosing to stay single, co-parenting with her daughter’s Father whilst running her Holistic Beauty & Skin Therapy salon; Aquatique.  Lisa Jane will launch her podcast Yummy Mummy early 2017.  Where she will make sense of what it means to be a parent, partner and lover in modern society whilst staying true to yourself. 

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#yummymummy #yummymummyblog #yummymummypodcast #writersblock #aliceinwonderland #focusonyou #knowyourworth #selfrespect #moveforward

Lesson Learnt

It’s been many months since my last write up. I’m fairly new to the blogging world and I had good intentions to publish a new piece once a week; on a topic based on my life. I intended doing this by staying true to myself while living as a healthy & fabulous mother of young children and taking care of my partner and family. Unfortunately as my dream of creating a podcast “Yummy Mummy” and becoming an inspiring entertainer and educator was coming to fruition, my dream of being a housewife was crumbling down.

photo courtesty of Lisa Jane ©

Right at that moment I turned my focus on myself and started to look within; my partner started to disconnect from me. I’d shifted my energy away from him and towards what made my heart skip a beat. Though, we stayed together for months, our connections on all levels (mind, body and spirit) were becoming unfamiliar. We soon became strangers.

I spent a long two months after experiencing “The Phantom Act”, working out how I could accomplish my dreams; when I no longer had a partner.

Breakups are the hardest of all tough times that exists. The feeling of disconnection brings up anxiety and sadness. That gut wrenching, dry-reaching, stomach twisting physical pain; where your legs feel like they are stuck in concrete and your arms are reaching out to the dreams you created. You think it’s so close and you try your hardest to stretch a little further but then those dreams become clouds and fade away. My instant reaction was numbing; I curled up on my parents couch not wanting to face the world. My stomach turned, my heartbeat raced, food was not even a thought for survival. I just wanted to sleep. I was so exhausted keeping up appearances for almost a year and half that once he left, I just needed to recuperate.

Slumber was my saviour. I’d go from the bed to the coach to the outdoor setting and then back to bed. I was on repeat. In that time of numbness I was able to allow myself to heal. I forgot about all my personal development work and fell into my story. I dragged along my family and friends but they were powerful enough to be my sounding board and give me the time to work it out on my own.

Two months on and a shift occurred. A flick of a switch, you may say. I realised nothing is forever and that it’s ok to not have a partner. One thing I did do in this recent relationship that I count as a blessing was that I embraced ALL of him. His son, his son’s mother, his family, his friends and above all his character and behaviour. I loved him unconditionally. I did all that I felt I needed to do for myself and for all of us to create happiness, love and laughter. I did my best. I came from love with all the decisions I made. However, he had come from fear of being alone and wanting to fill a void.

When looking for a partner, one major aspect to think about is; are you coming from love or fear? As when it ends if you walk away with a hole, you’ll find another partner quickly to fill the voids and you will not learn your lessons and so the cycle repeats.

The ultimate lesson is to learn to come from love when you meet your ideal partner. How does one know this you may ask? It’s quite simple. Be true to yourself, know your worth and above all respect yourself. If a partner is coming from love they will understand you, support you and encourage you to achieve your dreams. They will give you the right amount of space and you’ll know they are with you on your journey.

“Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.” ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

With a new start at my single life as a mother, also comes a new career; the show must go on! My podcast will launch next year, early 2017. Look out for my blogs where I’ll be guiding you to express yourself authentically.

LJ  💕


#lessonlearnt #knowyourworth #loveyourself #respectyourself #unconditionallove #breakups #hardesttimes #thephantomact #startingover #love #yummymummy #singleagain #notasinglemum #motherwhochoosestobesingle